The Wrath of Dawn
10 signs you're too old to trick or treat
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
Posted by WrathofDawn at 8:35 a.m.
8 Comments:
1. or in the case of my father, at least people he's slept with. Ohh trust me, you have no idea how accurate that is...
So nice to see a normal post, and not just another video.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You keep my schedule and post, Leekface*.
*a term of endearment
I'm never to old to trick or....damn.
I love pre-chewed candy!
0. You dress up as Barney Fife, just knowing that everyone will find it funny.
-1. You know who Barney Fife is.
-2. You laughed at any of the above.
'qmxah' - Klingon for "leekface".
Option 4 almost perfectly describes my Halloween except its me handing out the restraining orders. I have a big pad of them pre-validated by the courts. There are advantages to dating lawyers after all :)
*note to self - do not attempt to stalk wonderferret
#4 sounds like a perfectly normal night to me.
What...?
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