Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Badger Bridge is burning down














This just in. Due to colder than normal temperatures in Surrey, England, locals have been burning badgers in an effort to keep warm. Previously, residents had used beech wood as an alternate heat source but recent studies have shown that while beech burns hotter, badger burns longer. "We kept the entire lounge toasty warm the whole night with just one badger!" said one satisfied resident.

One drawback to the practice of badger burning is the clouds of oily smoke that result. This photograph was taken early this morning in the village of Windlesham with Bagshot*and shows the amount of smoke produced from just a handful of homes. NASA officials reported that the smoke can be seen from space, via the Hubble telescope.

East Surrey Badger Protection Society members remain horrified and are joining with the Environment Agency of England and Wales and the Badger Racing Association in an effort to stop this heinous and environmentally threatening practice before it spreads to other parts of Great Britain. No badgers could be reached for comment.

*Windlesham with Bagshot - Probably,'Win(d)el's homestead/village' but perhaps, 'windlass homestead/village'. 'Bacga's corner of land' or perhaps, 'badgers' corner of land'.

12 Comments:

Anonymous Alan said...

I'm horrified. It's wrong to just throw badgers on the fire like that.

When properly arranged in a pyramidal structure they will burn for nearly twice as long.

January 24, 2006 at 8:13 p.m.  
Blogger Misty said...

*goes to hunt down some badgers to test pyramid theory*

January 25, 2006 at 9:30 a.m.  
Blogger TRT said...

eeeK!

Do they burn badgers in the vatican to get that black and white smoke to come out?

January 25, 2006 at 9:52 a.m.  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

alan - 100% FACT!

misty - I hear badgers can be used to boost flat batteries, too.

gw - 100% FACT!

January 25, 2006 at 12:27 p.m.  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

I am waiting for the day when badgers can be used as a substitute for gasoline.

I want to pull up to the pump and fill my tank with badgaline. Or badgahol.

Whichever.

January 25, 2006 at 9:37 p.m.  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

Put a badger in your tank!

January 25, 2006 at 9:41 p.m.  
Blogger TRT said...

http://www.cafepress.com/badgers4ever.18409241

For you!

January 26, 2006 at 9:03 a.m.  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

gw - My cup... eeeer, mug, runneth over. Ta, love!

January 26, 2006 at 12:14 p.m.  
Anonymous Stephen Hawking said...

I HAD A BIG MUG OF BADGAHOL JUST THE OTHER DAY. IT'S JUST THE STUFF TO WARM UP THE COCKLES OF YOUR IMMENSE BRAIN ON A COLD NIGHT.

January 28, 2006 at 10:43 p.m.  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

Mr. Hawking - I am not worthy.

*bows*

January 29, 2006 at 1:29 a.m.  
Anonymous Stephen Hawking said...

THAT'S *DOCTOR* HAWKING TO YOU. DO NOT EVER FORGET IT. I WILL USE MY ROCKET-PROPELLED CHAIR TO DESTROY YOUR FAIR PROVINCE (TM) IF YOU NEGLECT MY HONORIFIC AGAIN.

DAMN I'M STUCK IN THE MUD. BUT YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

January 29, 2006 at 3:01 p.m.  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

Humble apologies DOCTOR Hawking.

P.S. - NANANA BOO BOO!

January 29, 2006 at 3:06 p.m.  

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