Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Under the big top

The circus continues...

First of all, know this. I am a dating moron. Can't figure out men at all. This will become glaringly obvious when I ask your opinion of the following excerpt from an email from a (separated) man I met online with whom I've been corresponding for the past 10 months and only met last Sunday evening.

"Scary wrathful one, you seem quite nice and you know that you are attractive, but there is this small problem of the XXX kms between us and the fact that I am seeing somebody here on a fairly regular basis...

Having said that, I too would like to see you again and will be in contact in advance of my next visit to see if we can hook up for a coffee or harm in that is there?"

That "somebody" is news to me. So, my lovely readers, what do you think? Is this just SOP for that 7th level of hell otherwise known as dating, or should I kick this guy to the curb?

And why can't I decide myself? If this were someone else's problem, I'd be all Dear Abby on their heiney.


Anonymous TC said...

Presumably this e-mail arrived after last Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Fairly regular basis"? - What, more than once every ten months?

"Hook up for a coffee"?

Whisky Tango Foxtrot? F.U.B.B. S.O.B.!

Sorry, Dawn - I'm probably the last one to give advice, having been out of the dating scene for many years now, but either this guy is showing a lack of interest or just wants "casual coffee" every ten months (and I can't believe it's lack of interest, seeing as what a great person you are and all).

Sounds to me like he's disrespecting you.

Or maybe I'm overreacting (but I don't think so).

Sorry if that wasn't what you wanted to hear, but I'm sure there's someone better than that for you out there. :?

April 5, 2006 at 12:20 p.m.  
Anonymous TC said...


Erm...if I'm talking crap, just ignore me.

I'll get me coat.

April 5, 2006 at 12:28 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Did you? If so, you've been used & dumped.

If you didn't, you're being set up. You must make a decision here about what you want*.

BTW. This sounds like the sort of thing I would do. I am a bad bad GW.

*to cut off first.

April 5, 2006 at 12:44 p.m.  
Anonymous Ricardipus, unromantic said...

Run away (screaming is optional).

That's my $0.02, for whatever it's worth (hm, 2 cents I suppose).

"seeing someone here on a fairly regular basis" - hm, I wonder if that "someone" knows he's been corresponding with (and has seen at least once) you.

Standard Disclaimers Apply: Ricardipus is not the best source of dating information or opinions. E&OE. All materials valid as of the date of purchase. Best before yesterday (etc.).

Good luck.

April 5, 2006 at 12:54 p.m.  
Blogger mmat said...

dump his ass.

April 5, 2006 at 12:55 p.m.  
Blogger Quack said...

The situation doesn't sound positive, but I'm not a dating expert either - I've been in one long-term relationship (11 years?), and now I'm set loose on the world just ready to be taken advantage of.

But re: "And why can't I decide myself? If this were someone else's problem, I'd be all Dear Abby on their heiney."

I completely know what you mean. When it comes to your own situation it's hard to look at it objectively. So far I'm going by instinct and then if I'm hurt I can try being cynical instead. But when it comes to asking advice I'm terrible for knowing what I want to hear in advance and only asking those who will tell me what I already know. :) I wonder if you've already done the same?

April 5, 2006 at 1:11 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd be all Dear Abby on their heiney.

Some people would pay for this kind of service.

April 5, 2006 at 1:13 p.m.  
Blogger Misty said...

Run towards him

Hit him with something sharp and pointy.

Then turn, and run as far as possible in the other direction.

The set the badgers on him to feast on his bloodied corpse.

April 5, 2006 at 8:00 p.m.  
Blogger Gary J. Wood said...

To the curb. 'Nuff said.

April 5, 2006 at 11:09 p.m.  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

Thank you one and all for your input and your kind words. It's interesting that the men (to a... well, to a man) have said kick him to the curb, while the woman are more or less slightly more forgiving. Apart from the pointy sticks, which I like.

I haven't responded to his email yet. I haven't even decided if I ever will.

He knew I was looking for more than a coffee buddy when he met me and he shouldn't have waited until after that to tell me he was seeing someone. In fact, he shouldn't have wasted my time at all. I have more than enough buddies for coffee. Oh well. Such is life.

April 6, 2006 at 12:13 a.m.  
Blogger zoe said...

cut off his balls and then go and play tennis with your FRIENDS.

April 6, 2006 at 7:23 a.m.  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

After 10 months that is the first you hear of it?

Death to him. He is not badger worthy. He is another mammal. A weasel.

April 6, 2006 at 7:26 a.m.  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

I love you guys!

April 6, 2006 at 7:44 a.m.  
Blogger merlinprincesse said...

Make him suffer... no... yes...mmmm... I've been in the exact same situation... But let me tell you something: Menteur un jour, menteur toujours... Meaning Liar today, liar always... Even if it's a lie by omission.... You deserve better, girl!

April 6, 2006 at 12:24 p.m.  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

You got that right!

April 6, 2006 at 3:01 p.m.  
Blogger Aunty Marianne said...

Wanker. And so he will remain, with behaviour like that.

Honey, us beautiful funny intelligent norkettes deserve a whole man to ourselves.

Hell, we deserve two. Or three. And extra ones to put up shelves and take the rubbish out.
It's not like there isn't enough nork to go around, is there?

April 6, 2006 at 3:10 p.m.  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

Funny you should mention that. The only time that wanker put up a shelf, he f**ked it up. The only rubbish he'll be taking out will be himself. And his visa to the Himilayas has been permenantly cancelled. And he never even got to use it. Poor little wanker!

April 6, 2006 at 3:13 p.m.  
Anonymous Alan said...

Keep this handy in case of future emails of this kind. On receiving them, send back directly.

"We are sorry, your email could not be delivered. This is because the intended recipient has a fuckwittery filter installed. Fuckwittery was detected in this email.

There may be several reasons for this.
1. You are a fuckwit.

Correction, just one reason.

Please try again once this problem has been solved."

April 6, 2006 at 7:34 p.m.  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Thanks, Alan!

If you could all see today's emails, you'd be even more scornful of him. It's my fault apparently, he didn't mean to mislead me, I didn't make my intentions clear, etc., etc.,

Luckily for me, that fuckwittery filter Alan sent is working perfectly.

April 6, 2006 at 11:36 p.m.  
Blogger jkirlin said...

I loooooove how he hides the 'seeing someone' after the distance thing. That is some sweet placement. This is a HOOT! A knee slapper! I say 'Keep Him'. Who knows what other gems he has. Besides, what else are you doing? And, it's clear that seeing him wouldn't preclude you dating someone else. Heh heh. Well, except for those pesky XXX kms? Did I mentioned the XihaveagirlfriendwhoisprobablyXmywifeifiwerereallyhonestaboutitX kms??? Coffee or something??


Dawn, please...keep him around for material if for nothing else. I beg of you. :)

April 7, 2006 at 1:52 a.m.  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

Oh, jirlin, I'm so sorry. It's too late. I've already called him "liar, liar pants on fire" and sent him xxx kms away.

I did consider keeping him around for the comedic possibilities, though. I really did. If only for the fun of setting up the next coffee/something date and then standing him up. Or having half a dozen people show up after me, one after the other.

But ultimately, I just value my time too much.

April 7, 2006 at 1:56 a.m.  
Anonymous Ricardipus, LMAO said...

Alan, that was priceless. I may plagiarize it.

April 7, 2006 at 11:09 a.m.  
Blogger Scaryduck said...

Poo/Letterbox interface.


April 8, 2006 at 8:27 p.m.  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

You mean send him some "tomato seeds?"

Yes. Yes, indeed.

I depend on The Duck to devise the most devious devices.

April 8, 2006 at 8:33 p.m.  
Anonymous Kat said...

Well, since you "called him "liar, liar pants on fire" and sent him xxx kms away", I guess this is a little late... But it sounds to me like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. What man wouldn't desire an attractive mistress in another city too far away to accidentally meet their wife/girlfriend/SO? Unless this is his version of "let's just be friends"... Bah, he deserves a good boot to the head!

April 11, 2006 at 3:55 p.m.  

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