Monday, January 01, 2007

Christmas 2006 - Part the Third - OR - Light me, Harry!

Now before we go any further, let's establish one fact. I HATE putting lights on a Christmas tree. DEEEEEE-SPISE the task. Are we clear on that? Okay, let's continue...

So of course it falls to me to put the lights on the Christmas tree. WO2 did it last year, but has a parttime job this year and didn't get around to the lights. Although she did assemble the tree, which is my second least favourite job, so she's still in the will. For now.

So. Out of the box come the strings of lights. One torturous part of the procedure has at least been removed. The Former 'usband (hereinafter referred to, if ever, as FU) used to insist that the lights be stored the way they were purchased, meaning all the bulbs had to be unscrewed and inserted into the little cardboard sheet and the whole gubbins put back into the box. Every year. Which meant they all had to be screwed back in again the next year. It added at least an additional hour onto the job. But I'm not nearly as big a fussbudget, so more sensible traditions prevail these days, which makes it a bit less onorous but there is still a bit of de-tangling to do.

First up, the angel. That's easy enough. Then the first string of lights. Plug the angel into the light string and then wrestle the lights onto the tree, cursing under my breath. There! The first string done!

Reach for the next set of lights. Pay closer attention to which way the plugs are facing, make sure I've got it the right way round so as to be able to plug the connected strings into the wall outlet when I get to the bottom of the tree... reach for the end of that string and find myself looking at... the wrong end. Because I had not taken note of the fact that the angel has one of those double plus on it...

I had put the first string on backwards. And I'm here to tell you, if there's one thing even more heinous than stringing lights on a Christmas tree, it's having to immediately take them off and restring them because you're a eejit.

And the lesson learned? Don't be such a eejit. Make someone else put the lights on from now on.

There is one good thing though. At least I didn't have all four strings attached and put them all on as one long string. Had I put each and every frickin', frackin' light on that tree upside down? They would have stayed that way. That's why there's extension cords.

Stay tuned for the final installment, Christmas 2006 - Part the Fourth- There's more of gravy than of grave.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy New Year, Dawn.

January 2, 2007 at 6:45 a.m.  
Blogger Ricardipus said...

Hint for next year... when taking the tree down (next week, or July, or whenever you get to it), put a piece of tape over the part of the Angel's plug that you *don't* want to plug into.

Also - wrapping the lights up carefully and putting them back in the box really speeds things up when unwrapping them again. This I learned from Mrs. R'pus. But taking the bulbs out is just plain daft.

/helpful Harry mode

January 2, 2007 at 2:24 p.m.  
Anonymous TC said...

Ha! Xmas lights! never touch 'em!

January 3, 2007 at 4:21 p.m.  
Anonymous Dawna said...

I love your sense of humour. I hate stringing Christmas lights so much that I didn't even want to read your post today. But I did and got a laff. I love the FU for the former 'usband. Love it. I can't believe your anal retentive FU put each lightbulb back separately every year. What's with that?!!

I'm chucking my tree this year and buying a prelit one for next year. yipee!

January 3, 2007 at 11:57 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must be very lucky.

Each year, the only thing that needs doneing, is untangling the lights from when I threw them into the box the Xmas previous...

Mind you, I do always check the (3 sets, one, maybe 2 get used) fairy lights work, and are plugged in before draping the tree with them...

Not too bad for a maniacal blonde, eh?

/showing off.

January 4, 2007 at 9:39 p.m.  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

TRT - Ta!

R'pus - Excellent suggestions!

TC - Good thing. They get really hot.

Dawna - Ta! *blushes* I have to confess I have "borrowed" FU from a local columnist. But is it so perfect. What's up with the AR storage indeed. I shall go to my grave never understanding the FU. I heart prelit trees.

Misty - Oo! 'ark at'er! All detangly and testy like. My lights usually don't need detangling as they're not fairy lights but the larger king. It's just the pluggy in bit I got backwards. I think R-pus' suggestion will solve that little dilemma nicely.

January 5, 2007 at 12:37 a.m.  

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