Wednesday, April 30, 2008


... for Disaster

- or -

How Not to Cook

Ingredients: one bagel

Place in microwave on carefully folded piece of paper towel.

Close door.

Press Cook.
Press Power - 30%.
Press Time - 1.. 0... 0...
and just for good measure... another 0...
Approximately 6:30 mins later, realize you haven't heard the microwave bell ring yet.
Peek into the kitchen. Observe the following:
  • horrid scorched smell

  • smoke seeping out of the microwaves vents

  • flickering light, i.e. flames, through microwave door window.
Open the microwave door. Observe the following:
  • microwave is FILLED with roiling, oddly yellow-coloured smoke

  • which rolls out of the microwave at lightening speed, and

  • expands to fill entire kitchen and living room to a depth of 4' down from the ceiling.
Perform following tasks:

  • Turn on kitchen wall exhaust fan

  • Open many windows

  • Carefully preserve scorched bagel for photographing for blogging purposes.

Toasted bagel, anyone?


Blogger Rik said...

I once did similar as a test on my hot food vending machine, only with an 18 second cheeseburger in a 4,100 watt microwave. This time we did it for the maximum 3 minutes (the microwave had a cut-out longer then that) and the resulting odour got local residents in neighbour units in the industrial estate complaining. The burger itself had disappeared, and the bun was now charcoal. The sesame seeds, whilst very blackened, were still in tact.

April 30, 2008 at 8:20 p.m.  
Blogger #Debi said...

You had me frightened there for a minute, having this story follow several about cat wars. I thought maybe one of them had exercised the "nuclear option" on one of the others...

April 30, 2008 at 9:16 p.m.  
Blogger Scaryduck said...

Om nom nom nom tasty bagel.

No... Wait...

Bagels are a BLASPHEMY asnd should be destroyed. Well done.

May 1, 2008 at 7:05 a.m.  
Blogger Ricardipus said...

Mmmm, I'm hungry now.

But not for that.

P.S. I believe that the T.W.I.N.K.I.E.S. project could benefit from your expertise.

May 2, 2008 at 10:28 a.m.  
Blogger merlinprincesse said...

Yummy!!! Burned Bagel à la Carbon!!! You could make a Carbon 14 dating.... :) Mwhahhahaha!

May 2, 2008 at 1:51 p.m.  
Blogger Katherine said...

I didn't think bagels were particularly flammable. The things you learn through teh intarwebs. :P

May 2, 2008 at 3:20 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


May 6, 2008 at 1:52 a.m.  

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