Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Lovely spam, wonderful spam


I've gotten many wonderful spam emails over the years but this has to be one of the best. It's almost plausible...


Subject: Building for lease in the centre of Moscow

Premises for lease (1000 sq m). The premises of the former restaurant on the 2nd and 3rd floors in an A-class building in the centre of Moscow near metro stations Chekhovskaya, Pushkinskaya, Tverskaya.

Power capacity is 700 kW. Panoramic view elevator for 40 persons. Modern
architectural conception of the restored in 2002 monument of history and
architecture (total area 5649 sq m). Ceiling hight - 3,5 - 4m. One
possessor of right.

Possible usage: bank, stock exchange, restaurant, karaoke or nightclub,
exhibition halls, offices, marriage agency, producer centre, model
agency, dance school, fitness club etc.

Time of lease - by agreement

Rental rate - USD 900 per sq m a year, including VAT

Utility payments and operating costs - on actual basis

--------------

I think I should make an offer. If only to get my hands on that "Panoramic view elevator for 40 persons. ." The only problem is how do I decide whether to turn it into a marriage agency or a stock exchange. Decisions, decisions...


10 Comments:

Blogger TRT said...

Use it to keep all your spam in.

February 18, 2009 at 9:25 a.m.  
Blogger TRT said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

February 18, 2009 at 9:25 a.m.  
Blogger Pseudonymph said...

Dawn = lucky to get Russian real estate spam. I'm still getting Russian bride spam.

February 18, 2009 at 9:44 p.m.  
Blogger Ricardipus said...

USD $900/sq. metre is, if I did the math right, about $120 Canadian per sq. ft. per year. That's about three times what premium financial district real estate in downtown Toronto costs.

I could find you something here that's much cheaper than this Russian property, and just as suitable for use as a marriage club, model exchange, or fitness exhibition. Call me. It will only require a bank transfer to my Swiss bank account, for which you will have to send me your bank account number and date of birth. No problem at all.

February 20, 2009 at 12:58 p.m.  
Blogger Ricardipus said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

February 20, 2009 at 12:58 p.m.  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

@ TRT - Excellent suggestion.

@ P'nymph - I take it you don't like borscht?

@ R'pus - What? You don't need my S.I.N.? What kind of scam are you running, anyway?

Sheesh!

February 20, 2009 at 1:20 p.m.  
OpenID coopernicus said...

I DON'T LIKE SPAM!!!!!!
Hush Dear, I'll have your spam, I love it. I'm having a $75,000 a month apartment in Moscow...
with a fried egg on top and spam.

February 21, 2009 at 12:46 a.m.  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

With fried egg, 6 rubels extra. Plus gratuity.

(I can hear Eric Idle saying, with great enthusiasm, "I love it!")

February 21, 2009 at 9:05 a.m.  
Anonymous Erin said...

I've been getting spam saying I've won the British National Lottery. Wishing I had just a bit of spare change, I find it incredibly depressing. It seems the Nigerian (I need to send this money to your bank account to screw with the evil overlords) spam has slowed down...

Although the change in venue from Nigeria to Moscow must be nice. Can I work in your marriage agency? Although I'm probably better suited to the office gig.

February 21, 2009 at 11:18 a.m.  
Blogger Wonderferret said...

Sadly I don't get any spam so I feel left out. Please to be forwarding all your spam to me at wonderferret@mailinator.com
I feel the need to spend my fortune single handedly propping up the world economy.

Also I think the space in Moscow should be used as a retirement home for deranged kittehs :-)

February 22, 2009 at 5:06 a.m.  

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