In the Chamber of The Duck, Part the First

It was a Duckworthy* moment. Made all the funnier by the unexpected venue.

Last night I was at a chamber music concert. Yes, yes, I'm one of those people. I know. Stop sniggering in the back.

Where was I? Oh, yes... last night I was at a chamber music concert. Which tends to be a very staid occasion. People on their best behaviour, some even wearing their best bib and tucker. A Very Nice Lady who looked to be about 60**, quite respectably dressed, sat down beside me. She very politely and congenially commented to me that we had very good seats, which we did. Fourth row, centre house. Close enough to watch the musicians (they don't half make funny faces) but far enough back not to get hit by any snapping cello strings (which happened on Wednesday night - the cello string snapping, not anyone getting hit - as far as I know).

All was fine during the first half of the concert.

During the intermission, I amused myself with my cell phone, checking e-mail, reading about the near-miss plane crash of a Canadian plane (not Scare Canada) in the US (gneep!) and checking Crackbook. I didn't notice that she had moved one seat over. Maybe she moved over to chat to someone, I didn't notice. Just as the concert began, she moved back over to the seat next to me, and as she stood up and stepped sideways... as The Duck would phrase it... FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP!!! The loudest fart I have heard in a long time. In public, anyway. Luckily, it wasn't an SBD but an LBB***.

I spent the next 15 minutes almost crying from trying to suppress the laughter****.

Tomorrow... In the Chamber of The Duck, Part the Second.

*As in Scary, not Jack and Vera.

**An interesting feature of the chamber music concert is that at 50, I was a good 30 years younger than the average audience member.

***Loud But Benign

****Because I am five years old.