The Wrath of Dawn
Step right up! Step right up! And in this ring...
One in what appears like it will be a continuing series featuring the HIGH-LAR-Y-US correspondence resulting from the Barnum and Bailey world of online dating...
"I am from Saskatchewan* and I would like to meet a Newfoundland woman**, one who I can share my life with. I amrecently (sic) divorced*** and would like to meet that special someone I can share my life with****. If you are interested email me at madeupname@thattheremail.com. I am not into head games or lying*****.
*4,500 km from here (approx.) Somewhat of a daunting commute, n'est çe pas? Has he frightened away all dating prospects in his own province and the six provinces between?
**a "Newfoundland woman?" What the heck does that mean? Are we different somehow? Does he think I would be good at starting fires with just two sticks? Able to skin a rabbit with my bare teeth?
***= emotionally unstable
****I'm unsure of your goal. The sharing of the life. Would that be a priority for you? And just how special would I have to be? Would a lifetime pass on the short bus be required?
***** This statement always reads as, "I am psychotically deceitful and will emotionally torture you relentlessly." Those of us who really are NOT into head games and lying NEVER feel the need to state it outright.
Posted by WrathofDawn at 5:51 p.m.
7 Comments:
Kiss? KISS??? BLEURGH!!! There will be no kissing.
I think the 4,500 kms will take care of everything.
'Saskatchewan' sounds pretty specific about things, but I think your take on it is bang on.
So what exactly is a Newfoundland woman?! Sassy and off the cuff, for sure. But I'm guessing this man has all kinds of stereotypes floating around his head. Or perhaps he's just turned on by your accent! Are you creeped out now? =)
Take THAT, nonsensical commenter.
But, Erin, I don't HAVE a Newfoundland accent. I've picked up some of the cadence, I think, but not one of the actual accents.
Doesn't creep me out. He has no idea who I am and unless he's lying about being in Sask. is thousands of kms away.
I only present these for your reading amusement, my gnomies. 'Cause seriously? Some of these emails are comedy gold!
But Dawn - he *doesn't* know that! Mwahaha! And yes Gnomie, your stories are gold. =)
In the words of the immoral Elton John, "If love was a circus..."
I'm not sure about this "sharing a life" lark. Sounds a bit... vampiric to me. And a bit too much "say what you think they want to hear".
At least 75% of these guys are married and just looking for a little e-lurve. 24% are social misfits. And you gotta move fast to find the 1% genuine, not mad at all candidates. I think the balance is the same for the women, so the 1% don't stick around long.
Unless they have a blog...
Gotta stay away from them with blogs.
I'm just sayin'.
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