Sunday, April 25, 2010

Step right up! Step right up! And in this ring...

One in what appears like it will be a continuing series featuring the HIGH-LAR-Y-US correspondence resulting from the Barnum and Bailey world of online dating...

"I am from Saskatchewan* and I would like to meet a Newfoundland woman**, one who I can share my life with. I amrecently (sic) divorced*** and would like to meet that special someone I can share my life with****. If you are interested email me at I am not into head games or lying*****.

*4,500 km from here (approx.) Somewhat of a daunting commute, n'est ├že pas? Has he frightened away all dating prospects in his own province and the six provinces between?

**a "Newfoundland woman?" What the heck does that mean? Are we different somehow? Does he think I would be good at starting fires with just two sticks? Able to skin a rabbit with my bare teeth?

***= emotionally unstable

****I'm unsure of your goal. The sharing of the life. Would that be a priority for you? And just how special would I have to be? Would a lifetime pass on the short bus be required?

***** This statement always reads as, "I am psychotically deceitful and will emotionally torture you relentlessly." Those of us who really are NOT into head games and lying NEVER feel the need to state it outright.


Blogger Pseudonymph said...

Ahhh, Dawn. You know you gotta kiss a few frogs before you find a prince. A few lying through their teeth, emotionally unstable mess with your head frogs. But frogs none the less.
Onwards and upwards!
'We' can organise to have him taken out if you want.
Got your back.

April 25, 2010 at 10:44 p.m.  
Blogger WrathofDawn said...

Kiss? KISS??? BLEURGH!!! There will be no kissing.

I think the 4,500 kms will take care of everything.

April 25, 2010 at 10:55 p.m.  
Blogger Erin said...

'Saskatchewan' sounds pretty specific about things, but I think your take on it is bang on.

So what exactly is a Newfoundland woman?! Sassy and off the cuff, for sure. But I'm guessing this man has all kinds of stereotypes floating around his head. Or perhaps he's just turned on by your accent! Are you creeped out now? =)

April 26, 2010 at 8:09 a.m.  
Blogger WrathofDawn said...

Take THAT, nonsensical commenter.

But, Erin, I don't HAVE a Newfoundland accent. I've picked up some of the cadence, I think, but not one of the actual accents.

Doesn't creep me out. He has no idea who I am and unless he's lying about being in Sask. is thousands of kms away.

I only present these for your reading amusement, my gnomies. 'Cause seriously? Some of these emails are comedy gold!

April 26, 2010 at 9:26 p.m.  
Blogger Erin said...

But Dawn - he *doesn't* know that! Mwahaha! And yes Gnomie, your stories are gold. =)

April 26, 2010 at 10:50 p.m.  
Blogger TRT said...

In the words of the immoral Elton John, "If love was a circus..."

I'm not sure about this "sharing a life" lark. Sounds a bit... vampiric to me. And a bit too much "say what you think they want to hear".

April 27, 2010 at 6:47 a.m.  
Blogger WrathofDawn said...

At least 75% of these guys are married and just looking for a little e-lurve. 24% are social misfits. And you gotta move fast to find the 1% genuine, not mad at all candidates. I think the balance is the same for the women, so the 1% don't stick around long.

Unless they have a blog...

May 1, 2010 at 5:34 p.m.  
Blogger Ricardipus said...

Gotta stay away from them with blogs.

I'm just sayin'.

May 16, 2010 at 12:45 a.m.  

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