The Wrath of Dawn
Bring on the empty orchestra...
Okay. Remember the fountain in the backyard next door? The noisy one that sounded like a bathtub running on full? Good.
And remember the trampoline that has replaced it? The one with the shrieking (sometimes at 1:00 a.m.) children? Good.
I believe the third horseman of the Apololypse has done arrived, brothers and sisters. My neighbours have discovered... brace yourself... get ready for it....
Karaoke.
Pray for me.
Posted by WrathofDawn at 11:57 p.m.
16 Comments:
Oh.My.God.
I truly sympathise.
There's only one thing I hate more than karaoke in pubs, and that's drunken karaoke. Unfortunately they seem to have ended up one and the same these days.
You know the one where, after a few bevvies, some dick head starts to think he can actually sing, and gets up to sing song after song. When what they actually sound like is a hacking dog with tonsillitis.
I think it's time to bring in Pest Control now, Dawn.
Gloves are off!
Oh God, I have a Karaoke bar just along the road from my flat. Some nights I lie awake screaming "make it stop, make it stop" as yet another fat Mancunian with a voice like a rusty nail down a sheet of glass tears into a three tones flat rendition of "Is This The Way to Amarillo."
My advice to you. Start drinking heavily.
Poor, poor Dawn.
You should change the venue for your next full-cast theatrical rehearsal: Dawn's back yard.
You promised* you wouldn't post any of those "private" pictures of me I let you see...
*actually, I don't think you did...
Now, how to get a law-giver through customs...
ASBO.
At first you'll be afraid. You'll be petrified. You'll think you could never live with all this by your side. But then you'll spend so many nights, blocking out the tonedeaf song, that you'll grow strong, and you'll learn how to carry on....
I was going to suggest the rental or acquisition of a large-ish PA system, and the application thereof to large amounts of Opera, at 1 AM, aimed at the neighbours.
But Scary's idea is more or less the same, and funnier. So go with the Duck (good advice at all times I think).
DON'T YOU BE DISSIN' KARAOKE, I MYSELF SING AN EXCELLENT VERSION OF 'MR. ROBOTO' AND I KNOW THE TRANS ALBUM BY NEIL YOUNG OFF BY HEART.
I AM COMING TO YOUR NEIGHBOUR'S PLACE TO GIVE A RENDITION. PH3EAR MY L33T S1N61N6 SK1LLZ!!!!!!
I thought you liked karaoke -- or at least you did that time that I brought you, Tammy and Mom to the Glue and then stiffed me with the bill. :P No, I will never let you forget that.
I personally like karaoke best in the true Japanese fashion -- you rent a room with a karaoke machine in it by the person by the hour, so that way the only people that have to listen to your off-key wailings are your friends. There's a phone in the room so that you can order food and drinks from the kitchen (they bring them up to you).
I still don't understand why your neighbours have to do karaoke late at night our outdoors or with the windows open or whatever. Your house isn't attached to theirs, is it? If so, I have even greater sympathy...
TC - I'm not sure if they were drunk or just really, really, really bad singers.
Alan - I have gin. And I know how to use it.
Scaryduck - Yes! Jesus Christ Superstar by an 80-voice cast. Except for one thing... the cast members can actually sign...
TRT - Sorry, love. Couldn't. Resist. the. Bubbles.
Aunty Mariane - Mwa ha ha! They didn't sing any disco, which is the only reason I let them live.
Ricardipus - Welcome back! I think we share a brain... see below.
Dearest, darling Dr. Hawking - Sod off.
Kat - There is karaoke when YOU'RE singing and then there is karaoke when SOMEONE ELSE is singing. And, because they're lunatics.
Let's just say I believe I know how I will "handel" this situation, if it continues. I have classical music and stereo speakers and I know how to use them.
If that fails? Beagle turds on the trampoline.
P.S. - Slight typo above. Whilst some of the cast members may indeed be able to sign, what I really meant to say is that they can sing.
Mog - Yeah, I have that effect on most people. I was wondering if anyone would see that connection.
And thanks!
Dawn. I too have a problem resisting the bubbs.
This is why we can never meet...
There is irrefutable proof that a version of ricardipus.operatic's PA'd Opera at loud volume actually WORKS....all be it wearing ear plugs...better still treat yourself to a nice pair of noise cancelling headphones for the CD player or check out our lovely Kim Hill's Saturday Morning show streamed in her 'Audio Archive' on the left...
TRT - This is why we can never meet: death by SWMBO
edt - Thanks for the links! Funnily enough, I had already read the article about the use of Manilow's *ahem* music as a deterrent to miscreants. I would definitely need some sort of ear plugs if I were to use that method. If I had to listen to dulcet tones of Mr. B. Manilow at high levels for long periods of time... I. WOULD. LOSE. MY. MIND.
Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!! .....and other words indicating a state of genteel exasperation........
A CURE,tried & tested.....we once lived in a house where the darling little kiddiewinkies (late teens) were left at home while Mumsie & Dadsie went on a weekend break....cue karaoke party, getting ever louder as 1:00AM approaches.......cue one very pissed off moi, having found that the police are "all busy elsewhere sir".............
THE CURE!!! Take one half empty whiskey bottle and one large "family size" machete outside to the adjoining hedgerow, and start "gardening" and "singing" (I use these term very loosely - think rusty chainsaw grade for both activities), in approximate rhythm with the accompanying noise coming from next door.........after the initial giggles of disbelief died down, things moved indoors reasonably quetly for some reason.
Silence is Golden......... :-)
bryn - MWAHAHAHA! Peace and quiet is just a machete away.
Post a Comment
<< Home