Thursday, July 27, 2006

Spleep, perchance to dream... of waking up on time

Thanks for photo posting
assistance to Scaryduck

Sleep. Or as Misty likes to say, spleep. Wonderful, wonderful spleep. Unless you're not getting enough or can't get to sleep at all, which was Misty's problem last night.

I've been known to have a problem or two in the sleep department myself, beginning when I was six and traumatized by my Grade One teacher who appeared to be channelling the Hansel and Gretel witch. But for the most part, I just lay my head down and away off to the Land of Nod I go. Which is not to say I don't have any sleep related problems.

The main one, and this has been lifelong, is waking up. Whatever it is that your brain has to do to fully wake up, mine doesn't like doing it. It resists returning to full Alpha waves like a cat resists being put down a toilet. All four paws clutch at the Beta waves state and howl like a banshee, "Noooooooooooo!!!! More spleep!!!!" There is nothing more beautiful to me in this world than my pillow in the morning. This had led to morning woe all my life. In fact, one of my most vivid memories of my mother is her frantically calling me, every morning of my school years, with "Dawn! Get up! It's 10 to 8!"

So I've had to resort to various methods over the years to compensate for the fact that my mother is no longer around to drag me out of bed. The most recent and most successful, has been the combination of two alarm clocks; a clock radio set to a nice music station that turns on just in time to catch the 7:00 a.m. news, and an analogue one, set to ring about 30 mins later in case I doze off again (who, me?) that has an alarm that starts out nice and friendly sounding but accelerates to Armageddon on wheels if you don't turn it off. And it has worked well, until this week.

I don't know what's going on, but the last three mornings, I've suddenly woken up at 8:30 a.m. instead of 7:30, with no memory of having shut off the analogue. I have to be at work for 9:00. I only live 5 mins away from work, but still. They really don't like it when I show up in jammies.

It appears I will have to resort to a previous, much hated strategy – putting the analogue clock on the other side of the room so I have to get up to turn off the alarm. This will not be pretty. So if you hear snarling, stomping feet and the sound of a clock being flung against the wall tomorrow morning around 7:30 a.m. NST? Just ignore it. And put on the coffee, will you? There’s a love.


Blogger Aunty Marianne said...


My alarm sits on the other side of the room too. It's the ONLY way.

July 28, 2006 at 2:52 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

just to say hi from a Canadian living in Russia who came across your blog by accident...:)

July 28, 2006 at 4:41 a.m.  
Blogger mmat said...

for me it doesn't matter how many alarms, or how horrible they are. i learned from having a job in high-school that had me working at 5am exactly how little time i need in order to get my arse out of bed and get to said job. since then - generally it could be a solid hour after the alarm goes off before i get out of bed any more.

July 28, 2006 at 9:14 a.m.  
Blogger AZZAI.COM said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

July 28, 2006 at 10:05 a.m.  
Anonymous Kat said...

I did the whole clock-accross-the-room thing while at college, but I discovered that after a while I'd gotten so used to it that I'd actually sleepwalk to the clock and turn it off. Not set it to snooze, but actually off most of the time. I had to put the clock back beside my bed in arm's reach so that my subconscious mind would only hit the snooze alarm and eventually wake me up through sheer persistence.

I've also learned that I can often sleep through a decent/quiet music station, so I have to have the volume up LOUD an, until it annoyed the heck out of Kurt when he moved in, I had it tuned to the static between stations. Now I have it tuned in to the local alternative station, which although it's pretty good music most of the day, makes it a point to play noisy, screaming music around alarm-clock time so that people tune in specifically to use the noise to wake them up.

It's all so frustrating for Kurt, though, 'cause he's one of those people who wakes up as soon as his alarm goes off. It frustrates him to no end to watch me slowly make my way out of bed every morning. He always thinks that I am going to miss the bus to work, but that only happens once or twice a year 'cause I've slept in... And at any rate we have a car that will get us there faster (but costs more, with $12 parking plus gas), so if I do miss the bus, I'm still not late for work. Even so, the possibility that I might miss the bus drives him nuts. It used to do the same thing to my mom when I was in high school.

July 28, 2006 at 11:28 a.m.  
Anonymous Ricardipus, early-ish said...

You need a clocky:

So do I, in fact.

This post makes me say:

You are me. And I am thee. Goo goo g'job. We are the eggmen (etc.).

F*ck I hate getting up in the morning. Although when I manage it, I always enjoy being awake early when it's quiet, nobody else is around, and it's cool and misty (not *Misty*, although that would be fine too, I suspect...)

July 28, 2006 at 1:52 p.m.  
Anonymous TC said...

I need one hour MINIMUM between getting my arse out of bed and leaving the door.

Even then it's tight.

I need to get my head right before facing work.

'Zen and the Art of Breakfast Preparation' for me.

July 28, 2006 at 3:12 p.m.  

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