Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of...


I almost missed it. In fact, I did miss it in the YooKay, but I've snuck (sneaked?) under the wire for North 'Murrica.
And now, for the edification of all you landlubbers, I be featurin' your best advice for gettin' down wit' your bad pirate self on this day of all days...
Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day
(from the Original Talk Like a Pirate Day Website)

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.
Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates

10. What are YOU doing here?

9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)

8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!

7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"

6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!

5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"

4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!

3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!


...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:

1. You. Pants Off. Now!
Apparently, we lady pirates are a subtle breed.
And if it be not too late, board the Original Talk Like a Pirate Day Website for all kinds of pirately fun and frolic.

Bwaaaak! Polly want a cracker!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can honestly say I have yet to be chatted up using any of those chat up lines, ever. By either sex. Or even a parrot.

September 20, 2006 at 7:38 a.m.  
Blogger Ricardipus said...

'Would ye like ta blow on me bosun's pipe?'

Oh dear.

Thanks for the piracy, matey. Same time next year?

September 20, 2006 at 11:38 a.m.  
Anonymous Kat said...

And the ultimate negative rebuttal to any of these lines...

"I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means "no"."

September 20, 2006 at 12:05 p.m.  
Blogger The Wrath of Dawn said...

Arrrr! That's because ye not be a pirate, TRT!

I be the proud owner of two (2) bosun's whistles, Ricardipirate. Booty from that Old Salt, me father. He couldn't half play 'em but never taught me the knack before he headed for Davy Jones' Locker. Arrrrr....

And same pirate time, same pirate channel.

Ye got the words, Kat, me lass, but ye ain't got the music. Better luck next year.


September 20, 2006 at 3:43 p.m.  
Blogger zoe said...

i wish i'd never read this post .... made me laugh, though!

September 20, 2006 at 5:25 p.m.  
Blogger Misty said...

Arrrr, me 'eartie!

I'll have ye know that I have used that #1 lady pirate's chat up line.

And it worked.


September 21, 2006 at 7:12 a.m.  
Blogger Ricardipus said...

You can never escape, Zoe, ever...

Bloggowordo: manrhg. In keeping with this post, I suspect it's a contraction of:

Man - arrrrrrgh!!!!


September 21, 2006 at 12:20 p.m.  
Anonymous TC said...

Me timbers are well shivered...?

Wow! What happened to Zoe's face? Someone call a doctor!

September 23, 2006 at 9:27 a.m.  

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