The Wrath of Dawn: September 2006

I got nuthin'

Honestly. Nuthin'. Go smack some penguins. We'll both feel better.

And beat my 355 score. I dare ya.

The old hag

No, not me. A few posts ago I asked about readers' dream habits and asked if anyone had experienced the phenomenon known as "The Old Hag." Alethea described a dream she had that involved the moon turning into the face of an old hag, but that's not quite what I meant. I was referring to the physiological phenomenon of sleep paralysis, specifically, hypnopompic paralysis.

I have had two experiences. Both happened when I woke up from a nap on the couch (or chesterfield for the Canucks in the audience). I don't remember much about the first incident except that I woke up and couldn't move for a few minutes. But I remember the second episode in detail. It happened in the house in which I still live, about 12 years ago, when I was still married. I fell asleep while watching TV with my husband. When I woke up, I was laying flat on my back on the couch and raised my arm to put my hand on the back of the couch, intending to sit up. And that's where I stayed, unable to speak, open my eyes or move another muscle for the better part of half an hour. I know it was that long, as the TV series, "Friday the 13th" was on the television. I could hear and comprehend every word of the story and was able to recount what happened in the show to my husband when I could finally speak again. I didn't experience any fear or panic or the sensation of someone sitting on my chest, as is often described in these episodes. It was more just a feeling of annoyance that I couldn't move.

Our good friends at Wikipedia, as always, have a few words to say on the subject.

Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of...

Peroxide...

YARR!!! BLARGH!!!! SHIVER ME TIMBERS!!! PIECES OF EIGHT!!! DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES!!! YAAARRRRR!!!! *cough, cough*

I almost missed it. In fact, I did miss it in the YooKay, but I've snuck (sneaked?) under the wire for North 'Murrica.

And now, for the edification of all you landlubbers, I be featurin' your best advice for gettin' down wit' your bad pirate self on this day of all days...

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day

(from the Original Talk Like a Pirate Day Website)

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates

10. What are YOU doing here?

9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)

8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!

7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"

6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!

5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"

4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!

3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!

2. RAMMING SPEED!

...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:

1. You. Pants Off. Now!

Apparently, we lady pirates are a subtle breed.

And if it be not too late, board the Original Talk Like a Pirate Day Website for all kinds of pirately fun and frolic.

Bwaaaak! Polly want a cracker!

Scaryvision

Yes. Yes it is. Very scary indeed. But funny in an inexplicable kind of way.

Dream a little dream...

... of me... in the third person.

Had an interesting conversation the other day about dreaming. A friend told me she often dreams in the third person, as in she "sees" herself in her dreams, like watching herself in a movie and hardly ever dreams in the first person, as in seeing the dream the way you view the world while awake.

I have never, to my recall, seen myself in a dream. My dreams are always first person. Of course, I'm tuned to the "All Me, All the Time" station, so that could explain that, but none of the other people around the table had ever had a third person dream before either.

And, interestingly, all of the men said they usually dream in black and white, only rarely in colour and most of the women said they dream exclusively in colour.

So my question is this: when you dream, do you dream in the first or third person? In colour or black & white? Do you have recurring dreams? Nightmares? Ever have a dream come true? Ever had a lucid dream? Ever been visited by the Old Hag? Tell us your dreams...

Snakes! On a Plane!

Sort of. Stolen shamelessly from TC.

Snakes preview.

Apologies for all the lame posts to foolishness. I'll post actual words again soon once the show's over.