10 signs you're too old to trick or treat

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

8. You ask for high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.

5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.

PUMAS. THEY HAZ M.

For #Debi.

Quando Caliente El Sol, sort of

Scooby-doo-bee-doo-bee. Now with more monkeys.

Yep. I'm five years old. It's a fun place.

Kitteh power

Click on the little man.

Four Yorkshiremen

The Pumpkin Game

Just in time for Hallowe'en! Click on the house for some educational and highly sophisticated hi jinks.

WARNING May be addictive. Don't say I didn't warn you. You'll think, "I'll just play a round or two," but, oh no! Before you know it, you'll be missing work, neglecting your kids and forgetting to walk the dog just so you can do battle with all those frickin', frackin' pumpkins. What? Are you still here? Go play the game!

Mouse Tales

Reading Misty's "Hello Kitty" post today reminded me of my own tale of kitteh safari exploits.

Picture it. Sicilly*. 1988.

Very small but excellent kitteh (pictured here in a very bad scan of a rather old photo) brought a live, but stunned mouse into the house whilst my parents were visiting.

"Eek!" said Mother, who was terrified of mice.

"Argh!" said Father, dreading the thought of the chase.

"Mwargh!" said Ex, who was rather afraid of everything.

"Hand me a plastic bowl," said I, being closest to the mouse.

"What for?" they all enquired.

"For to entrap Mr. Mouse in a safe and humane manner," quoth I, in a wonderful moment of clarity.

Mouse duly entrapped, I requested a piece of cardboard. Slipped it under the little mousy and carried him safely to the field acroos the street.

"Yay! said Mother.

"Hurrah!" said Father.

"Wibble..." said Ex.

"Damn!" mumbled Kitteh.

The cat never forgave me and for the remaining 12 years of her life never, ever brought home a fresh kill. Or a stale one for that matter.

The End.

100% TRUE STORY

*Slighty west of. With very large values for slightly.

Happy Thanksgiving

To my Canadian friends. To the Yanks, Happy Columbus Day. To the Brits and the rest - eat yer hearts out. Long weekend! With grub! w00t!

Don't leave home without it...

From the Sitting On the Fence files: On the norway.com Passports & Visas page: "Norway takes part in the Schengen co-operation and hence nationals from countries within the Schengen area do not have to show their passport when entering Norway. However you must show an official document that satisfactorily establishes your identity. We therefore recommended that you bring your passport after all."

My boys