Ladies and Gentlemen, we bring you...

SQUEEEE!!!!

Step right up! Step right up! And in this ring...

One in what appears like it will be a continuing series featuring the HIGH-LAR-Y-US correspondence resulting from the Barnum and Bailey world of online dating...

"I am from Saskatchewan* and I would like to meet a Newfoundland woman**, one who I can share my life with. I amrecently (sic) divorced*** and would like to meet that special someone I can share my life with****. If you are interested email me at madeupname@thattheremail.com. I am not into head games or lying*****.

*4,500 km from here (approx.) Somewhat of a daunting commute, n'est çe pas? Has he frightened away all dating prospects in his own province and the six provinces between?

**a "Newfoundland woman?" What the heck does that mean? Are we different somehow? Does he think I would be good at starting fires with just two sticks? Able to skin a rabbit with my bare teeth?

***= emotionally unstable

****I'm unsure of your goal. The sharing of the life. Would that be a priority for you? And just how special would I have to be? Would a lifetime pass on the short bus be required?

***** This statement always reads as, "I am psychotically deceitful and will emotionally torture you relentlessly." Those of us who really are NOT into head games and lying NEVER feel the need to state it outright.

G'day, mate!

To all my Aussie and Kiwi buddies observing ANZAC day - lest we forget.

Du måste finnas

Okay, I know I'm a music geek and all, but this... this is, like, WOW! right?

Also, how freaky is it that some Swedish words bear some resemblance, or sound like they have the same root word, to the same word in English?

I feel the earth... move... under my feet...

Women to blame for earthquakes, says Iran cleric

The mind boggles. It just BOGGLES.

Srsly, dude? Our clothing causes earthquakes? SRSLY??? Oh, believe me, honey... if we had that power the world would be a very different place.

In which my ship comes in...UNexpectedly.

Attention: Beneficiary,

How are you today? Hope all is well with you and family? You may not understand why this mail came to you.

We have been having meetings for the passed years which ended in 2009 with the ten secretaries to the UNITED NATIONS.

This email is sent to all the people that have been scammed in every part of the world, the UNITED NATIONS agreed upon to compensate them with the sum of US$ 450,000. This includes every foreign contractors that may have not received their contract sum, and people that have had an unfinished transaction or international businesses that failed due to Government problems and impersonators etc.

We found your name in our list and that is why we are contacting you, this has been agreed upon and has been signed.

You are advised to contact Dr. Mrs. Vivian Okafor of Nigeria Security Department, as she is our representative in Nigeria contact her immediately for your Cheque/ of USD$450,000.
These funds are in International Bank Draft Bank Draft for security purpose ok? So she will send it to you and you can clear it in any bank of your choice.

Therefore, you should send her your full Name and telephone number/your correct mailing address where you want her to send the Draft to you.

Contact Dr. Mrs. Vivian Okafor immediately for your Cheque

Email: nsd1954@w.cn
Phone: +234-705-112-8644

Thanks and God bless you and your family. Hoping to hear from you as soon as you cash your Bank Draft.

Making the world a better place.

Regards,
Ban ki- Moon
UN Secretary (UNITED NATIONS)